Our Story...So Far

I met Troy my freshman year and his sophomore year. I became really good friends with his friends first, and that’s how I got introduced to him, I can’t really say that I remember ever talking to him though because he was so quiet and I never really thought anything of it, he was just my friend’s “redheaded” friend haha. We also went to the same middle school, but I only remember his brother because we are in the same grade.

So fast forward to my sophomore year and his junior year, and that’s when I finally started to get to know him, he started eating lunch with my friends and I everyday because he liked one of my freshman friends in the group (whom his friend had gone out with but just broken up), he had asked her to homecoming that year and I thought that was so sweet and I was really happy for them, but she didn’t really ever talk to him at lunch, so me being the over compensator talked to him nonstop trying to make him feel more comfortable and sort of a part of the group. He was still really quiet but also really sweet and I didn’t mind talking to him. So he went to homecoming with my friend and she basically told him that she didn’t like him, so I thought that it was over, that he was going to go back to hanging out with his friends (who were also my friends, still are)…but no, he didn’t, he continued to hang out at lunch with my friends and I, we thought it was a little strange but not a big deal, because his friends would come over every day to say hi to me anyways. That Halloween, my 2 friends and I planned on going to Knott’s Scary Farm, and since he was always there listening to our plans we decided to invite him. It was a really fun time; I was immature and scared so I let him hug me from behind and keep me safe, I thought it was just a friend thing, on our way home we watched Valentine ’s Day on his phone and sat really close to each other, but little did I know that he actually liked me. Everyone had told me right after he stopped hanging out at lunch for my other friend that he was hanging out there for me, but I didn’t believe it. That night though after we all got home I got a message on Facebook (I wasn’t allowed to text at the time) saying “I kind of like you”, I was freaking out because I did not like him back, so I sent him a message back saying “thank you, I’m very flattered, but nothing is ever going to happen between us”. Now that I think about it I was such a jerk, but at the time I just wasn’t ready for someone to tell me that.  I was still used to only having “secret crushes”.

So sophomore year went by, we still remained distant friends, he stopped eating lunch with us after that but I still saw him every day because of his friends, I became interested in his friends and 2 of them and I kind of dated a little. I became best friends with his best friend, but I hardly ever saw Troy because he was more of a home body and he liked to just play video games. We only talked and texted every once in a while, we were never awkward around each other, it was just distant, it was hard for me because he was so quiet and shy that I never really felt like I knew him, but I always kind of felt this connection, I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was at the time.

Summer going into my junior year and his senior year is when things started changing, he was becoming more and more comfortable with himself and it was weird because I felt like I could get closer and closer to him, but I always held back because of friends, they would either make fun of me for even considering it (mostly his friends) or it was just seem like he didn’t like me anymore. That summer he also got a girlfriend (someone I knew, she was a friend of a friend from a different school), he spent his whole summer with her and I didn’t see him once, but then his friends and I decided to plan a beach trip before school started again and Troy was going with his girlfriend, so I invited my mutual friend with his girlfriend that way it wouldn’t be so awkward, but it was, while the boys were all out surfing, I stayed on the beach with his girlfriend and our mutual friend, she then told me that she knew who I was and Troy talked about me all the time and he even told her that he used to like me a lot. I was shocked and a little embarrassed because that is not something you are supposed to tell a girlfriend haha. But Troy and his girlfriend ended up getting into some kind of fight that day (I didn’t know what at the time that it was about me) and she ended up leaving with our mutual friend early, so it just left me and the boys. It was fun time climbing rocks and just hanging out as Cali kids do. Troy and I talked a little more and messed around, throwing sand at each other and just laughing with all of his friends. About a week later he broke up with his girlfriend. Nothing really happened between us still though, we would hang out occasionally and we would also text still but it was just friendly, and he never mentioned that he liked me, so I thought he just wanted to be friends.

His family breeds dogs, and I am not a huge dog fan, but my friend is, so she and I would go over all the time towards the last several months of school to see the pregnant mom and new puppies, it was a lot of fun just hanging out at his house. When it came time for prom season I knew that all the boys were going to go, I thought that Troy’s best friend was going to ask me because he and I were such good friends, but I ended up getting a text from Troy’s other friend asking if I would say yes to going to prom with Troy, I said of course and he said that he just wanted to make sure because he didn’t want me to say no and break Troy’s heart another time haha. So the next week Troy asked me over text message with a bunch of different pictures from a random number and of course I said yes. We had such a good time and it felt like we were just really good comfortable friends. We texted all day every day before prom and after prom I knew that I liked him and wanted to be more than just his friend, but I didn’t tell anyone! So we just remained friends, he graduated and I had my last day of school and my friends and I were all going down to the beach and so I invited him to come along. It was such a perfect day, he got so sunburnt and I lost my Tiffany and Co. ring my dad had given me for my 14^th birthday, but none of that mattered because I was with him, he had a party at his house that night with all of our friends and we all laughed and talked and he stayed by my side that whole night. A couple of days later he left for high adventure with all of the boys and one day during the week (I believe a Wednesday) he asked me if I was talking to any other guys, and I said no not unless you count all of my “guy” friends, and then he asked me what I was to him and I had no clue what to say haha so I said that he was my friend. He told me that he liked me and I was so happy! We planned on hanging out the day after he got back from Lake Powell. It was the perfect day, I went over to his house early in the day and we watched Tangled (he knows how much I love Disney, so he planned a cute movie) on separate couches! It wasn’t until after the movie that he came and sat next to me and held my hand, I had so many butterflies in my stomach, but I was so happy, he then asked me “so what do you want to do?” and of course clueless me thought he was talking about what activity we wanted to do next since the movie was over so I said it was up to him, but what he meant was what should we do about him and I as a couple, so of course when he said should we go out, I responded “sure” and that was that, we were officially a couple. I texted my 2 best friends and they were so happy for me. We spent that whole day hanging out and just holding hands and when it was time for me to go home that night he walked me to my car and kissed me in his driveway, I was so nervous and excited! I screamed the entire way home.

 We have been together ever since and spent almost every single second together. He has become not only just a friend but my best friend! He means the world to me and I hope to be his wife someday. He reported for the MTC on December 5^th, 2012. He is serving in the Indianapolis, Indiana, Spanish speaking mission, he has been gone for nearly 4 months and it is hard every day but I am becoming used to him not being around, I realize that I need to work on myself just as he is becoming stronger and working on himself, I know that I need to figure out who I am without him, so that when he comes home I will be a better person because of my growth. His family is also extremely supportive of us and they help to keep me feeling involved in his life and they make me feel like I am already a part of their family.

Our story is my favorite, it may not be the typical love story but it's still cute, we have so much more to add to it though, our past will reflect our future, I hope that we will have love above everything else. I don't care about the money or how many nice things I have, I just want to be in love and be happy, oh and have lots of babies! I can't imagine doing that with anyone else, I'm hoping I never have to try and picture it with anyone else!

<3 Justiene

There are signs everywhere!

So this line may seem really cheesy and let me just start off by saying that it is really cheesy. Whenever I think that phrase in my head as I am driving down the road or listening to the lyrics of a song I always think back to the movie that I wore out as a kid...Fools Rush In...I don't know how a 6 year old could love that movie so much but I did, I remember watching it over and over again in my mom's room. The line "there are signs everywhere" comes straight from that movie and I just have to talk about how there are so many signs leading me towards Troy.

I feel as though it is the universe trying to tell me something about my relationship with Troy, he may not be here with me in Temecula or driving down the road but he is here in spirit, he is thinking of me and still loving me. I just know he is, well his letters tell me so but I want to believe that it is so much more than that. For example, I have read this book called Something Borrowed probably twice before reading it my third time currently and the main characters are from Indiana! I never ever once noted that detail of the book until now and why would I pick up a book that I have read so many times to read again? There is also the fact that I think in the past 4 months since Troy has been gone I have seen a handful of cars with Indiana plates on them, I don't think I had ever seen one, especially in Temecula, until Troy left. I also met with some customers at work one night and they happened to be going to Indianapolis, who just goes to Indianapolis!? Or how many red heads I saw at Disneyland one day, it was like they all decided to come out that one particular day. It's all of these little things that make me so crazy, and there are so many more little moments that make me think wow I am meant to be with Troy, because if I for even a second doubt our relationship, it's like someone is saying "oh I think we need to send Justiene another sign to let her know that she is making the right choice in waiting for Troy". I think that the biggest and probably the funniest sign of all is that I am taking my missionary lessons from a boy that has orange hair quite similar to the color of Troys! I could not have asked for a bigger or brighter (no pun intended) sign!

I may sound crazy and people might think I am strange but I cannot deny the fact that there is something more out there, someone or something that is guiding me in this journey, I would like to think that it is Heavenly Father who is working his magic to try and keep me as close to Troy as possible while he is hundreds of miles away spreading the gospel. And I know that he sees signs too, like how he tells me that my car is everywhere is Indiana or how so many people have my color hair or look like me from behind and how he wants to run up to them and see if it could be me.
It all may be just a coincidence but that would just be so unromantic to say that, so even though I may get weird looks and be thought of as a fool I believe that these signs are meant especially for Troy and I, and I believe that as long as I continue to see signs and little memories of him, that our love is still very much alive, even if it has to travel cross county

<3 Justiene

Feeling the Spirit

It is usually so unlike me to ever think that I could possibly feel something like the "spirit" that I always hear Troy's family or anyone mention, but today for some reason I feel as though I really felt something. I took my second missionary lesson today and all I can really say is that I am loving the religion more and more every time I get to talk with someone about it. I feel as though that is the spirit talking to me and letting me know that this is the right path for me.
Today I learned about the plan of salvation and I was just in raptures with the beliefs that the LDS church believes because those have always been my opinions about God and Jesus as well. I have been going through a bit of a tough time with my friend because of our difference in beliefs, there were some things said that were very hurtful (on her part) and it is really hard for me to forgive her for what she has said, but today with the lesson that I took, it only confirmed my beliefs. I just feel as though this is the path for me, I am feeling closer and closer to it everyday, not just when I take missionary lessons. I think that the church is where I belong and I think that it is where God has planned for me to go, I can only hope because he has brought all of these Mormons into my life for a reason and I think it is because it is to show me the true way.
I am still a long way from knowing for sure what my path is and I don't want to commit to anything quite yet but I feel as though something will eventually happen. there is a reason for everything and I think that this is my reason. I know that tough times may lie ahead for my family and I, but if this is truly in my heart of hearts then I am going  to pursue it because I cannot look past my own happiness to try and keep others happy.
I wish so badly that Troy could be here with me, but I know that he is where he belongs. He needs to bring people to the church and I also think that as much as I want him here on this journey with me, I am also grateful that he is gone because it gives me time to decide for myself and make decisions based on my feelings and not be imposed with his beliefs. I think that in the end he will grow to appreciate the fact that I am doing this all on my own and that I am strong and willing to be happy. I truly hope too that one day he will realize what a blessing he has been in my life for being a stepping stone for leading me to the truth. That is also how I feel about my friend Jason, he was really the starter of all of this, my friendship with some of my closest friends, my relationship with Troy and even leading me to the church. I owe him more than he will ever know or accept. I just hope that he will be blessed with the most wonderful life because he has been such a blessing in mine. I could not ask for a better friend and brother figure in my life.
Thank you Jason, Troy and his family and all the people in my life that just support me and want me to be happy and be who I am.

My crazy boyfriend Troy (the one underneath Jason and I) These people are just so amazing, I am the luckiest girl in the world to have them in my life!

<3 Justiene

Can I just say something...

In my household it has always been my mom that holds the pants, not my dad (although I really wish he did). My mom is extremely opinionated, much like myself, but she takes it to another level! My whole childhood growing up I wanted to please her, and don't get me wrong I still do, I think that kids will always want to please their parents or families no matter what age they are, but as I have matured and gotten older, I have come to realize that I cannot make my mom happy if I am not happy first. I think I am usually a happy person, but I also know that I put my happiness in my mom's happiness, meaning that I am happy because she is happy or not mad at me or my sisters or my dad or my grandparents or whoever or whatever else gets her mad. I am happy when I am with people that make me happy. Like Troy, she makes me incandescently happy, and I want to be that happy for the rest of my life, just like I know I will.
This past Sunday I went over to Troy's family's house for dinner and we ended up discussing the church (LDS), I have always been curious about it since I became friends with so many Mormons my freshman year of high school, but I was never given the opportunity to pursue that curiosity, until Troy and I started dating of course. I truly believe that God has put Troy in my life for a very important reason, I feel things in that church and with that family that I do not feel anywhere else. I cannot even begin to describe those feelings because one, they are indescribable, and two, I don't know if anyone would believe me. My family is not LDS, and I was so scared to tell my mom, but I did because I do not want to lie to her and I cannot deny my feelings any longer. She did not take it very well at all, she would not even let me explain my reasons for wanting to explore the church and she has not really talked to me since then. She basically told me that I can live my life how I choose but she will not support me at all. It's very hard to hear the person I love most say that, but I also know that my grand parents and great grandparents are very supportive of me, they want me to be happy and if the church is what will make me happy then they will support it.
I really hope that one day my mom will soften her heart and let me explain myself a little better. She just didn' want to hear it, she said that I was only doing this because of Troy and that they were "brainwashing" me. It's a very close-minded attitude that she has, and I am hoping with time that she will see that I am serious about this and I will eventually put my happiness before hers.
I really wish I had Troy here with me to go through with this but at the same time I know that I need to do this for myself and not him or anyone else.
All I can say is that I am beyond blessed for the life I have and the opportunities that I have been given, and I am also very grateful for the family and friends that support me in my decision to explore the church, they mean so much to me, because only God knows the plan for me, and I believe that he is supporting me and showing me the way through all of them.

<3 Justiene

Inspiration

I am just simply in love with this couple and their story. I stumbled upon a missionary girlfriends support group on facebook, and I asked to join and I got accepted, one day I was reading one of the girls posts and they asked about a couple that had waited and I got their names so I looked them up. They have a blog that is just the cutest thing ever. They are such an inspiration to me, and I really hope that they help other people as well. Just look at their blog!

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