Trials...Trials...Trials

So I don't think I have had a day quite like today in a while...

I should have known from the way I slept last night (or didn't sleep) that this day was going to be a bit interesting...and boy was I in for it. 

The day started off good, it's my mom's birthday so we went to breakfast and then to Knott's Berry Farm for a little while. 

Love these girls..even though Claire Kept me awake! 

Then it was time to go home because it was my last day of work. 

It was the worst last day of work too, it was just way to stressful. It didn't even feel like my last day

Well on my way to work my car decided to kick the bucket and it is gone! 

R.I.P jimmy 

My very first car, my black beauty (not really a beauty) my jimmy, the car that holds so many memories is just gone...

At first all I felt was sadness and disbelief but then after a while anger rolled in and it has not left, as I sit here pounding on my keys I can't help but feel mad because this is happening to me, what did I do to deserve this? It just doesn't seem fair at all. 

I start college soon, I am moving up to Orange County soon, and I am going to have to pay rent.

How can I possibly afford a new car, or at least something that is reliable, works and has good gas milage? I don't know what I am going to do, I feel horrible though. 

There are just way too many things running through my head, it's been this way for a while, but now things just seem to be boiling over.

All I can think to do is pray and hope for the best, tomorrow is brand new with no mistakes...although I will still have no car. 

I don't even know how I will survive...I drive everywhere!

But I leave for Texas in 3 days and I hope that I will be able to think of a solution and just have a good time. Luckily I am flying and not driving! 

This is definitely a low tide for me

13 Months Already???

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I cannot believe that it has been 13 months since Troy and I started dating.

Time has just completely flown by

We have had so many memories in such a short amount of time 

even though we have been friends for over 4 years now

Troy left a couple of weeks before our 6 months so we did not get very much time together as a couple while he was home, but we did experience a love unparalleled to anything that we have ever known before. He has treated me better in these past months than any boy has ever treated me. He supports me in everything I do and he loves me for who I am!

Even though he has not been home for the better part of our relationship, we have grown tremendously together. We have learned how to communicate in a way that some couples that have been together for 20 years don't know how to do. We have also had to show our love in other ways than just the physical stuff (i.e. kissing, holding hands, hugging) and I think that he has shown me so much love through our letters and emails. 

I am proud to call him mine. I can't wait for our eternity together

 this journey that we are going through now is just a blink in the grand scheme of things. 

I love you so much Elder Golledge

Thank you for your time and your love

You will never know how much I truly love you 

Love always and forever

When things end...

Well I know I may sound a bit strange but so many things are on the brink of changing. I graduated, I am leaving the Temecula Office Depot July 26th I am going off to college, I am moving to Orange County. All of these things are major points in my life.

But for some very odd reason the thing that is striking me the most at the moment is finishing the last episode of Big Love HBO's series. That's right, I watched all 5 seasons! It has taken up most of my summer so far and I have grown to love all of the characters even though they are not real. So to finally see it end makes me sad because I will not be able to follow their lives anymore. It's almost like when you are friends with someone but then that friendship ends and you no longer know what is going on in their life that you were once so closely apart of. 

I also finished reading the book Escape by Carolin Jessop. That book brought another end with so many questions. I just want to know where they are now. 

So I have come to realize that I much prefer fantasy worlds to the actual literal world. It has helped me escape from the stresses of everyday life and all of the changes that are currently taking place in my life. But when those things ended it brought me right back to reality, I couldn't hide behind these "fake" things any longer, I have to face what lies ahead for me. I am not saying that I am not excited, its one step closer to Troy coming home but I feel unprepared, and that could be from my lack of being proactive with finding an apartment or working on my health but I also feel unprepared because I feel as though I am going this alone, and I know that it should be like this but I can't help but panic a little. 

So as I am sitting here thinking about where my life is heading and feeling like I want to pull my hair out, I need to remember that He has a plan for me, He knows exactly what path my life is gong to go down, all of my life Heavenly Father has illuminated the steps for me to take, and although those steps may not be lit up for me just yet, they will be when He is ready to illuminate them.

Only 730 days to go Elder!

Today one of my very best friends entered the MTC in Provo, Utah. His name is Jason Geminert or now he will be known as Elder Geminert.

He is the first "guy friend" that I had in high school, the first boy I liked in high school although that didn't last long until we realized that we were better off as friends the first boy to ever try to just be my friend and not think I had "cooties".

He is a lover of movies and Justin Bieber yes...that is true he loves to hang out with friends, and he loves his family and his church more than anything in the world. 

He introduced me to Troy and then 3 years later forced Troy to tell me that he liked me...so basically if if it wasn't for him Elder Golledge and I might have never fell in love. 

He is the person who taught me that boys love to make fun of girls, he always wanted Tamales from my family.

He never stopped being my friend, we never truly had any drama except that of his best friend, which was minimal he was always respectful of me 99% of the time 

He is an amazing person, I am proud to say that is a big part of my life, even though we may have not hung out all the time, when we did it was as if we saw each other everyday and his family radiates love when you walk into the room. 

I am going to miss him, it feels as though I am back to square one with waiting for a missionary...

I just want to say good luck Elder Geminert, have fun in the Utica, New York, English speaking mission, I know that you will change lives and bring so much love to the people just waiting to hear the truth! 

My best friend is 18!!!!!

Happy Birthday Danica!!!! I can't believe you are already 18! I feel like time has just flown by way too fast.

 Remember when we were awkward little 11 year olds

Remember when I asked you if your henna tattoo was real

Remember when we went to Disneyland for my 14th birthday 

And now we went to Disneyland for your 18th birthday!!! 

You have been the best friend any girl could ask for! 

I am so happy that we have shared 7 birthdays together 

And I can't wait to spend many more together! especially your 21st! Ayyyooo Party

Love always

Is there really enough time for all of this!?

So I would just like to take a moment to say AHHHHHHH!!!!

My schedule this month is absolutely bonkers! 

There are so many little things going on...even big things like my trip to Las Vegas and to Texas 

Summer 2013 is a pretty exciting one 

The biggest thing on the list of of things to do this month is to find an apartment to rent in Orange County...It has not been an easy task...

I am super excited for all the month of July has to bring and I can't even imagine what August is going to look like...EEEKKK! :)

Land of the Free

4th of July would not have been complete without a big family get together! 

The day included a water balloon toss that turned into a fight Bingo, LCR, sparklers if you know what that is 

My mom and dad manning the game table

great food like burgers and dogs there was even a nacho bar!

Nachos!!!

Grandpa cookin'

It was so great to have all of my friends there to celebrate our beautiful country

work friends 

The fireworks were amazing

The way my mom set up the "graduation" table was so cute and it was so thoughtful of her to include that into the party

And the finale of the whole night was Dispicable Me on the projector screen in my backyard!

It could not have been any better except for the fact that Troy was not home I know that he would have just loved it! 

But since our 4th of July bashes are bi-annuaul he will be home for the next one :)