Update

Wow I am a little on the shocked side that it has been over 2 months since I have last blogged! It's crazy how fast time flies when you're having fun....or just so dang busy that you don't even sleep at night! I finally got a moment to breathe and I thought "let's go to my favorite place"....Barnes & Noble of course :) 

Starbucks, Mac, headphones, and a new book in hand I decided to treck on over and have a little "me" time. Work has definitely been keeping me busy (I'll explain later) and life has been keeping me even more busy! Between family and trying to keep up with my friends I can't seem to catch my breath and it's all finally starting to catch up with me. My immune system is definitely taking a big hit. This past weekend didn't help either (I'll explain that later too). So many fun things are happening. I would say I have had some high highs and a few good low lows this year but as I see the year rapidly coming to an end I can't help but think about how much I have grown and how much I have learned. I am just happy to have everything I have, happy everyone is healthy, and happy that there is still the future to look forward too. Until next time little bloggy! Hopefully I don't neglect you as long this time 

Love always, 

Justiene <3

Love me some green tea!! 

Could this book get any better ;) boots n' books 

Hospitals....and Vegas

I am currently sitting in a very cold hotel room in Las Vegas, NV with my family...I mean it's Vegas right!? Awesome, taking a little vacation...NOT! 

I was at work on Monday afternoon when all of a sudden I got a call and text from my mom asking me to call her. My first instinct was that I was in some kind of trouble (which is the usual case) but when I called her back I knew something wasn't right. She sounded so scared on the phone and she started off by saying "I have to tell you something Justiene and you have to stay calm" I immediately knew something was wrong with a family member, and that family member happened to be my Grandpa. 

It was such a blur from that point (right after she told me) I just remember wanting to break down crying in the corner of the office, I don't even recall being able to tell manager that I had to leave but somehow my coworker (more like an amazing friend) guided me to his office to tell him. I got to my car and just burst out crying but then a calm washed over me because I knew that I needed to call my roommate and ask her to pack a bag for me so that my aunt and uncle and I could pick it up on our way to Las Vegas where my family happened to be vacationing when my grandpa started having trouble breathing and was rushed to the hospital. 

It was the longest drive to Las Vegas EVER! There wasn't any traffic but the freeway may as well been at a dead stop because 4 hours felt more like 12 hours. 

When I arrived I could not get out of that car fast enough and up to the ICU to see my grandpa. When I got to see him though, I had never wanted to cry harder in my whole life. I could only stay in the room for a very short time because it was past visiting hours, but also because I could not take seeing him so weak and vulnerable. I'm used to seeing my rough and tumble Grandpa, a guy that doesn't mind getting dirt on his hands and a guy that will do anything for you. 

Tomorrow will be a week that I have been in Vegas, and it's been a week since my Grandpa was rushed to the hospital. He will have the surgery tomorrow and I am just so grateful for the staff at the hospital and all of the support from family and friends. Everyone has truly been amazing! 

Keep Praying!!!! We need all the prayers we can get! 

Love,

Justiene 

P.S. I will update on how the surgery went! 

Under Construction

Well I am pretty dang sure that my whole life is under construction right now....

So why not make the blog under construction too! 

So many things have changed in my life

And let me tell you, there are going to be some posts about all of the chnages...trust me

But as I am rapidly running out of time sitting at my desk at work (yes I got a new job)

I am realizing that I need a looootttt more time to write everything that has happened or is currently happening or is going to happen....phew!!! 

I don't even know where I am going to start...but stay tuned because there's a lot! 

So while I am trying to figure out just how I am going to explain everything

I am going to "redecorate" my blog :)

Love,

Justiene

If only things were simple

Well it has been a little while since I have blogged, and a lot has happened...or not happened. I don't really know how to say this and it makes me feel really bad, but I kind of met someone.

He is a pretty awesome guy

I work with him. I actually work with a lot of guys I am kind of the only girl at work

But there are some major complications

The biggest being Troy

I love Troy

a lot

He is the biggest sweetheart and I love his family just as much

The other complication is the fact that the guy from work...well he has a girlfriend

And you would automatically think that he and I would not even look at each other

But there is this undeniable connection between us, he and I can talk about anything and trust me we do 

I really hope that I can figure all of this out. In the mean time I am just going to take things slow and really think about the decisions that I need to make, and the outcomes that could come of it.

wish me luck...and pray please!

Month 11

I pretty much fail at this whole blogging thing because I cannot seem to find the time to do it. 

But I am going to try my hardest now to keep up with it. 

Well month number 11 came and went faster than I could have thought imaginable 

The pictures were not very good this time...

It was a last minute effort trying to put it together! 

10 months down...it's spooky!

Words cannot describe how excited I am that it has been 10 months!

It's sad to say that it has been that long since I have last seen Troy...But it means I am 10 months closer to seeing him!

I feel like I just posted the 9 month picture!

It has been a crazy month, full of ups and downs, but our love is still strong!

So proud of Troy and how he is bringing families closer to our Heavenly Father.

 

 

Love always,

Justiene

 

 

Hardships...Worry...Fear

Well this may not seem like a ver bright post...and let me just warn you, it's not going to be

I feel like I can't get a grasp on anything in my life right now.

There are so many things that have completely turned upside down and I feel like I have no one in the world to talk to about them. It's hard not having that best friend that knows your life inside and out, and yes there are new friends, but they are not the same as that good old childhood friend.

If I could talk to someone right now it would be about so many things...

Having the most hectic schedule EVER! I have to pack both lunch and dinner at least 3 nights a week

Feeling so blue about not being able to talk to Troy

Not having my friends accessable to me any time I would like I live an hour away from them now

Working at a new store same company and feeling very unappreciated there

But most of all I would like to talk about religion

 

I am not LDS yet but I have always felt a sort of draw to the church, since my freshman year of high school, I just did not know what it meant at the time, but now that I have gotten older and I have been able to voice this, things have not been easy at home. My mom has voiced very forcefully that she will not support my decision to join the church. She is very concerned for me, but what I don't understand is how she can say all of those negative things about the church without any sort of background knowledge. I had a very difficult converstation with her last night over the phone, and it was the hardest thing I may have ever done.

 

It is not my goal to hurt my mom or anyone, I feel so horribly about it, but I have to decide whether I am going to do this for ME or if I am just going to give in and repress what I am feeling about the church. I am faced with the most tough decision that I may ever have to deal with in life.

 

And even though it is a huge burden off my back to know that my mom now knows how I am feeling, it is still so difficult, everything about this decision is constantly on my mind, I can think of nothing else.

I cannot eat

I cannot sleep

I can't even think with a clear mind.

I don't know if I am willing to give up my family

I don't know what will happen in the future

I don't want to resent my mom forever for keeping me from my dream

 

I suppose the only thing to do is follow my heart, pray and hope for the best

 

But I am completely doubting my heart, I feel like I can't pray, and it seems there is no hope for me